Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
