dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
