your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
