May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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