I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
