just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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