Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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