is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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