I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
