Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
