the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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