Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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