Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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