she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
