either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
