I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
