i can't believe i had my finger in that
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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