I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize