Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize