i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize