Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
