I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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