no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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