Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
