I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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