Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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