I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
