I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
