Your tits are I can't wait for
I CAN MOONWALK!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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