Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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