why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's blow job season.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
