i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
