Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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