does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
