yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your shirt... Was in my pants
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
