Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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