if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
