Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
