The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
