Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
