just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
