You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
