I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
