i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
