I seem to have left my pride at pride
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
