I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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