Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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