i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
