Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
