Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
