I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
