oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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