I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
