ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This is my gift to your gina
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
A+ Viking dick
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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