Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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