My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
did i walk over a car last night?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
