I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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