I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
