Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You work out of a Hotel?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
