We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
