i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
