you guys were way drunker than both of me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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